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A few minutes later, Ted heard light footsteps come up the outside stairs and into the outer room. A familiar voice said, "Hello, grandma! It's me, Little Red Riding Hood!"Ted answered in his best grandmother voice, "In here, dear! I do not feel well."Little Red Riding Hood came in, shining her beautiful smile. But her smile went away as soon as she saw Ted in her grandmother's bed, wearing her grandmother's wig."Oh, grandma," she exclaimed. "What is the matter?"Ted drew up the covers to hide his face a little more. He croaked, "I am ill, my child. Come closer, so that I can see your lovely face."Little Red Riding Hood walked over to the bed, and leaned over with a concerned look on her face. "Oh, grandma, you look terrible!"Ted stayed quiet as she studied him with her amazing blue eyes. She was starting to turn him on. He could feel a woody building beneath grandmother's robe.Finally, she said, "My, grandma, what big, bloodshot eyes you have!"Ted whispered in a high voice, "The. Jerome was sitting at some café table making goo-goo faces while a largish (that’s being kind) redhead (who looked vaguely familiar) appeared to be eating one of his fingers. He was clearly enjoying himself. Eager to out m’man Romie, I nudged Maddy, trying to suppress a smile and said, ‘There he is,’ as I pointed to Jerome and his Finger Fellatio Friend. Furious, Maddy marched right over to their table. ‘Jerome,’ she demanded, ‘what the HELL are you doing?’ I was a bit hurt she was so mad. ‘I, I…M-M-Maddy?! I mean, what are you…this is…oh dear.’ He had all the composure of the Great and Powerful Oz being outed as a humbug. ‘Jerome’, Maddy said, suddenly gaining her composure. ‘Jerome, why is this, ermmm, lady applying saliva to the palm of your hands?’ Finger Fellatio had since moved on and was evidently working her way up Jerome’s arm. ‘It isn’t what you think, I just, let me explain…I…I…I…’ ‘Jerome, I’ll save you the trouble. Girly, he’s all yours. Good luck, he’s a dud root,.
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